Repress This
by Evailia
Summary: A new pair of professor’s come to Hogwarts; capable, beautiful and downright annoying. Snape catches her eye; he never had it so good.
1. Remember us?

Wow, I'm actually writing this! For ages I've wanted to write a Sev and OC fic; and now here it is! Aren't you lucky?! Hope you enjoy it and please review, ta very much! :D

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Severus Snape sat in his private rooms and drew in a deep long suffering sigh. Discarded on the desk in front of him was a letter from Dumbledore disclosing that he had not been chosen for the vacant Defence Against the Dark Arts post. Again. Snape tilted his head back to look at the stone dungeon ceiling and heaved another sigh.

"No doubt the new 'professor' will be presumably inexperienced, plain idiotic and a guaranteed pain in my..."

However, these thoughts were sharply interrupted by three quick knocks on his door. Severus sighed once more, determined to curse the person on the other side of his door into oblivion for interrupting his aggravated chain of thoughts. He swiftly crossed his room and swung open the door with so much vigour he had to hold onto it to prevent it from smashing into his wall.

"What?!" But his anger was quickly reigned in, as the stern face of Professor McGonagall greeted him. He longed for it to have been a student to release his anger, hate and all around feelings of injustice to. However, this fantasy would have been quite impossible, since school was yet to start in a week and only the professors were the current residents of Hogwarts.

"Severus. I'm glad I caught you in a good mood."

Snape snorted. Though both he and McGonagall knew he was never in a good mood. And if he knew a good mood this would have probably been one of them. But a good mood from Severus Snape had been rumoured to predict the coming of the apocalypse.

"Yes, well Minerva, is there any reason for your... delightful visit?"

"Actually there is Severus. All the professors are required in the staff room. To greet the new professors, you know."

Severus knew. This happened every single year and even though he hated these welcoming parties, he had long since given up the effort of worming his way out of them. It was greatly beneficial to his ears to just go and avoid the yearly nag from McGonagall. Besides, he'd stay for Dumbledore's welcoming speech, glare daggers at each and every person in the room, drink the 'non-alcoholic' punch and be gone. No one wanted to speak to him anyway, and that he was thankful for.

He nodded and moved forward to leave his rooms. He swore he caught a hint of disappointment from McGonagall's face as he came quietly. He lightly snorted as with a flick of his wand, rose the protective spells around his rooms. He and McGonagall then made the journey to the staff rooms. The silence was awkward. Even though Snape had great experience in awkward silences, being the cause of most of them, McGonagall did not. Therefore, she felt the over-whelming compulsion to make conversation.

"Something tells me that this year, we are going to have our hands full."

He guessed she wanted him to given an input such as "Really?"or an "Is that so? Do tell Professor, I am all ears." But he gave none, slightly because he was still ruffled from not being chosen to be DADA professor (again), minorly because he was being forced to be sociable and majorly because he was Snape.

McGonagall, however, was quite used to this lack of reaction when talking to Snape, so she continued.

"Yes, they are quite the pair. All I will say is bring earplugs. I would use Sprout's earmuffs; little obvious, though I do wonder if they would notice..."

Severus realised he was not going to get out of this conversation without speaking a single word so he gave her what she wanted.

"How so?"

McGonagall momentarily had a surprised look sweep across her face, but quickly dispelled it and continued.

"Well, you will see. Do you remember a Miss Katherine Vertigo and Miss Isabella Mane by any chance? They were Gryffindors."

Severus paused. He was certain those names rang a bell, but he couldn't remember which one. He chanced a guess at them being on the quidditch team a while ago, yes that must be it. Very rarely any Gryffindors made any kind of impression on him. Well, except bad ones, but then he would hastily repress their memories from his mind.

"Obviously you do not. Otherwise you would have had the same reaction poor Professor Flitwick had. Poor man was petrified to his seat for hours."

Severus was actually about to reply, but they had reached the staff room doors. Both professors heaved long suffering sighs, but for quite different reasons, and McGonagall moved forward to pass through the door.

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Three seconds later Severus had an epiphany. Another three second later, he wished had never come. A further three seconds, he wished he had never been born.

"Oh. My. GOOOOOOD! Kate! Totally look at THIIIIIIS!"

A flash of pink flew past him, knocking him into the wall. He steadied himself to be once more, only to again be shoved against the wall, this time by a flash of red.

"Omgee, Izzy! Thattisawesome!"

Severus didn't even bother to extract himself from the wall, but looked dumbfounded to the sources of said flashes. However, he was shortly interrupted by McGonagall.

"Ladies, please. Would you care to introduce yourselves to Professor Sn..."

She was cut short by the two flashes appearing in front of them causing McGonagall to stumble backwards slightly, quickly regaining her composure as though she was used to this type of thing. Severus however, was tempted to stay clinging to the wall, but removed himself and took a good look at the pair in front of him.

The first thing that struck him was how exceptionally bright they were and secondly... well 'they' were definitely going to need to be put away before term started. Snape however didn't get much further than this when McGonagall began talking.

"As I was saying ladies, you will remember that this is professor Snape. Severus, this is Isabella Mane" she gestured to the pink one. She had bright blonde curly hair that fell to her chin, ad her face portrayed a childish innocence, though Severus doubted highly that this _girl _was innocent. McGonagall continued "Professor Mane, shall be taking over the Muggle Studies post and this is Kate Vertigo."

Snape turned his eyes to the red one. What struck him as he looked at this Kate Vertigo was that she was very beautiful. Her hair fell down to her elbows and was a dark red-brown that looked wondrously silky to the touch. Her face sported large bright sapphire-blue eyes, but her lips were what captured Severus the most. She wore lipstick that matched the bright red of her robes and their full quality almost begged to be kissed. She had a modern day beauty look that Severus nearly always passed by most of the time, but she was in a league of her own. His eyes followed her perfect neck towards the two offending uniform rules and he would have given anything to...

McGonagall coughed. Loudly.

Severus's eyes jerked towards her and she shot daggers at him.

"As I was saying. Miss, or should I now say Professor Vertigo" the red one beamed "has recently returned from her travels around the world to become our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. She travelled as a part of a special team of trainee aurors who..." Severus had stopped listening and looked at this Professor Vertigo once more. From her rather impressive cleavage, he followed down her body to her legs which were quite readily on display due to her short skirt. He carried on down the length of them to her shoes which he recognised immediately as impractical. They were amazingly high and a thought stuck him that without them she would be exceptionally short; easily a head below him. A thought passed though his mind of what her legs would look like wrapped around his...

But again he was interrupted. Not by McGonagall's constant droning of all Vertigo's achievements, but by Vertigo herself.

"Would you like me to rotate? My butt is out of this world."

The room went silent and every pair of eyes turned to look at them. McGonagall looked completely aghast. Severus felt a heat rush to his face, but quickly suppressed it. Thanking years of practice over his emotions.

Her face didn't even have the decency to look at least a little bit ashamed, but was in a cheeky smile as if she had just asked him to give her a piggy-back. He realised how young she truly looked and how much of an old, giant, pervert he must now seem.

He smirked at her, "Yes, I thought you would say so. I was merely considering how inappropriate your current dress sense was and if the students would ever consider to taking you in the slightest bit seriously. Maybe as a starter to a lesson you should get them to work out whether their robes have more fabric than your entire attire. That might at least teach them something about textiles, _Miss _Vertigo."

Her face betrayed a hint of anxiety. Severus realised he had struck a nerve. It was quite an obvious nerve as nearly every single new professor was nervous how the students would react to them.

McGonagall continued to look aghast and the hush that had fallen over the room had increasingly become more tense. However, her face resumed the cheeky smile.

"Awwww, don't be like that Sevvy! And here I was thinking we could be friends! You soooo loved us when we were students, right Izzy?"

The pink one chimed in at this point.

"Totally! We helped you clean your office!"

"With frog-spawn." Kate added, and Snape glared at her. Her shining smile was really beginning to get on his nerves.

"Yeah, and we gave you presents every Valentine's Day!"

"We knew how much you loved blood lollypops..."

'It was them!?' Severus thought, and they continued to reel off the lists of their school day 'affections' for him. Their pace got faster and faster until it just became an unintelligible blur of noise to Snape and he attempted to keep up with them but he simply couldn't. How anyone to speak that much and it to be understood was beyond him.

"And the flamingo..."

"That was us!" They added in unison.

"Though it turning everything to pink wasn't quite the plan" Kate added thoughtfully "But it was a good touch don't you think?" They beamed simultaneously up at him.

Silence followed. Severus stood there looking gobsmacked. All the years of bizarre and random pranks had been them. He chanced a look at McGonagall, and her hand was kneading her forehead in a desperate attempt to fend off the oncoming headache.

"So yeah! We totally wanted to improve your mood, you know?"

"Yeah, but it looks as though it didn't work" they turned to face each other, pouted, then returned beaming up at him "but now we have allllll our working days to make you smiles isn't that great!"

Severus stood there, blinked, felt oncoming pangs of pain in his head and sighed. He had definitely repressed these two from his memory.


	2. Howl me this

Three days later, Snape could be found once more in his room. This was not an usual occurrence as he very rarely ventured out to be sociable to any of his professors; he knew he didn't want to talk to them, and they knew they didn't want to talk to him. However, he had holed himself in his room for a very different reason this year, well two reasons to be precise. He refused, even at the penalty of a nagging session from McGonagall, but there was no way in hell that he would risk the chance of running into _those two._ He had hoped against hope that they had either forgotten about him, or simply gotten bored but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him he was being far too optimistic. Snape was never optimistic, but he prayed to whatever deity out there that the bubble-headed idiots would leave him be. However, three sharp knocks on his door disrupted his prayers; only risking answering as he recognised this knock to be McGonagall's. He shuffled his way across his room and stopped.

"I'm being frightened into hiding by a pair of children with breasts!" At this thought he shook himself mentally and took two steps towards the door with his usual intimating demeanour. As he reached the door handle he chuckled to himself thinking himself a fool for fearing those moronic pair.

"Yes?"

But his voice met no ears and resounded in the dungeon halls. He sighed and knew immediately who it had been. He could hardly picture McGonagall running to his door, knocking then manically running off once more. He remembered an old man who lived opposite him in the muggle world who children frequently drew much delight in knocking on his door then running away. The noise of their laughter easily superseded the grouchy grumbles of the old man who had opened his door to find no one. Snape paused. He was not that old and he was being taken for a fool by two pairs of breasts! He snorted, now in a much fouler mood, but was cut short by noticing a small note on his door. He might have missed it due to the size, but it was pink, flowery and had a small ribbon of lace running around the edge. He sighed and squinted to read it.

"Be nice to Twinky

-Lotsa love K and I :D"

This confused him, as it would any sane person, and he turned back into his rooms and yelled. A multi-coloured toucan was sitting quite happily on his desk. He blinked. He blinked again. He rubbed eyes and prayed it would be gone. It wasn't. It gave a loud squawk caused the great and ever-feared Snape to jump a foot in the air. He read the note again and deduced that this toucan must be Twinky. He took a step towards 'Twinky' and stopped.

"How in Merlin's beard did this thing get into my room?!"

Due to his room being in a dungeon, there were no windows; he looked frantically around his room as if for a means of entry to appear to him. But the toucan gave another loud squawk drawing his attention back to it. Snape slowly and cautiously walked towards it. Twinky looked up into Snape's giving him the hardest stare Snape thought anyone probably ever dared to give him and took this as a challenge. He stared hardly back at the bird. To anyone passing by Snape's room, they would have found one of the oddest sights they would see in their lives. Professor Snape, feared potions master, staring it out with the brightest toucan known to the wizarding world.

Twinky gave a large belching sound, Snape stepped back in surprise but nothing could prepare him for what the bird did next. Severus barely blinked and his room was filing rapidly of candy floss. Twinky aimed his mouth towards Snape and blasted his candy floss mouth directly at him, causing Snape to be knocked off his feet and drowned in the increasing sea of pink candy.

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Many hours later, Severus was still attempting to purge his room of candy floss under the watchful eye of Twinky. Severus had tried what any normal wizard would do and vanish it with his wand, this however caused the candy floss to multiply and thus he was forced to rid his room of it the ye olde muggle way. He had reached the last part of his office covered in the pink candy floss and shoved in angrily into the bin. A belching sound caused him to whip around to the bird in surprise and horror. Before the bird lay a single piece of the candy and Snape went to dispose of it. As he bent down to reach for it, the toucan let out a series of high-pitched squawks which sounded, to Snape's irritation, like a laugh.

"Why you little..."

But once more his tirade was interrupted, by a slight cough at his still opened door. There stood McGonagall with a look of confusion on her face.

"Pre-term meeting in the staff room."

Severus threw the bin to the floor, shot a filthy look at the pleased looking bird and stormed after McGonagall. Thankfully McGonagall quickly realised that she didn't want to ask or know from the look on Severus' face; she could already guess roughly what had happened. They made their brisk way to the staff room and Severus was determined not to sit anywhere near Vertigo or Mane. He would sit in the corner and if they came anywhere near him the next thing that would fall from his lips would be 'stupefy'. To his great delight, neither of the two were yet present as he surveyed the full staff room. Very few seats remained, but his sofa which he always occupied was thankfully still vacant. He crossed the room and slumped into it and began his glares at his fellow professors. McGonagall took her regular single sofa seat near to Severus as many refused to sit near him and the staff room was quite a squeeze in these types of meetings.

Just as soon as Snape's irritation at Dumbledore's lateness grew, the doors swung open and banged into the walls. Many occupants of the room jumped in their seats as the two new professors made their entrance. Today, Izzy Mane was to be a bright obnoxious orange flash and Kate Vertigo wore royal purple over-robe. The room went quite hushed as their eyes cast around the room eyeing for two empty seats.

"Waaaaa! Kate! There aren't two together!" Izzy cried loudly and threw herself dramatically onto Kate.

"Zomygods, I know! We will just have to split up!" She patted her friends head affectionately, but still refusing to let go, Izzy held on tight. "Hark! I see a seat for you, Izzy-wizzy! Right over there on that sofa!" Snape whipped around to look at them.

"Good gods, not here!" He whispered harshly. McGonagall seemed to be in agreement with him. To his blessed luck, Kate was not pointing at him, but at a sofa near the opposite wall, he craned his neck to see who the unlucky sod was. A small squeak told him Flitwick was the victim today. Izzy released Kate with a squeal and bounced towards her new found seat.

"Hiya Wicky! Did you miss me?!"

Snape only caught a glimpse of Flitwick's petrified face when someone blocked his view. He looked up to this person's face, but his vision became quite fixed half way to breasts that were pushed up high by a black corset.

"My face is up here, Professor."

Snape too quickly snapped his eyes to the face of Kate Vertigo who was childishly smiling down at him and he grunted.

"As if I would be staring at..."

"This seat taken? No? Fabulous!"

At this, she swung herself around, dropped into the sofa and bent forward into her bag, searching for something. Snape took this opportunity to look at her without ridicule. He started at her shoes, again once more strappy impractical heels. His eyes continued up her long legs which were covered in tight black trousers which he would have given his left hand to have seen her 'out of this world' rear. His roamed further, past her corset to, what he hoped would be the back of her head, but unfortunately was her face. Again she was beaming at him. The heat rushed to his face, and he whipped his head to face the centre of the room which now was abuzz with noise of chatter, the occasional squeal of delight and squeak of horror. He kept his eyes focused on anything but her, and turned to McGonagall, but her seat was empty. He felt her weight shift on the sofa and she slide closer to him, but still he refused to make contact with her. It was then he believed that she would get bored if he just ignored her, but a soft hand had moved his chin to face her.

"Normally, I would take offense if someone ogled me as much as you do, but seeing as it's you..."

He voice was low and seductive. She was so close and if he lent just an inch closer he could... He moved himself as far to the other side of the sofa and pushed her hand away from him.

"She's playing with you, and you're just letting her!" He brusquely thought "This stupid _child _is making a fool out of you, you should know better by _now_!"

A slightly hurt expression passed over her face, but she quickly recovered. She reached forward once more and he recoiled back into the sofa. He wished she would just get the message like everyone else immediately did: No one, but no one, touches Snape. Her hand moved around him and plucked a piece of candy floss from his robes.

"I hope you liked Twinky; he always puts a smile on everyone's face!"

Severus was about to explain exactly why Twinky displeased him, but he never got the chance as Dumbledore and McGonagall strode into the room. Every mouth in the room stopped, but not from respect for the Headmaster, though this would usually be the case, but from surprise. The long beard the Headmaster usually sported had been turned a brilliant shade of pink.

"I am so sorry Professors; I was completely occupied by a rather talented flamingo."

Even though Snape refused to look at either the idiot across the room or the child sitting next to him, he could feel their ridiculous grins.

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Snape woke up in his bed with the greatest feeling of dread he had ever known. Five days it had been since the pre-term meeting incident and he had hoped that maybe Vertigo and Mane would have the decency to remove themselves from existence. Even though he didn't actually see them for the whole time, their presence was still very much felt. Every day, a knock would be heard and he would answer it. A different shaped pink and lacy present would be laying in wait outside his door. He had the bravery to open the first which had been blood lollypops, which whenever the box was opened would multiply until you shut it again. The next five presents he had quickly discarded into the bin.

To add to his annoyance, the students had returned to Hogwarts the previous night and the feast had been somewhat eventful. Once both Vertigo and Mane had been introduced, it had taken the Headmaster a good five minutes to calm them down. Well, the male population anyway. Thankfully, the two idiots had sat nowhere near him and he could be intimidating Snape elsewhere. Though today he knew, he just knew, he was never going to escape them. He pried himself from his bed and began his morning routine. It began with him checking outside his room door for any unwanted gifts (heaven forbid a student would find it and dare peek inside to whatever horrors lay in wait). Strangely, there was nothing and instead of this allaying his fears, it only increased them. He readied himself for breakfast and made his way to the Great Hall. He met only a few students and ritually glared at them causing a brand new first year to break down into tears. He ignored her, and continued to the Hall, where he took his usual seat. It was still quite empty and many of the professors had yet to fall into the school day routine.

Almost a half an hour later, the hall was nearly full of students and the professors all present. Of course, except two. Severus began to panic, as the seat to his right remained vacant. He racked his brains for any knowledge of another professor absent than Vertigo and Mane. Just as soon as he has begun, the two new professors entered the Hall. There was no dramatic entrance, but Mane leaning against Vertigo bleary eyed. Snape recognised her definitely not a morning person, and probably this would be the only time he would get a reprieve from her hyper behaviour. Vertigo, on the other hand, looked cheerful and very much awake.

"Izzy, where do you want to sit, there aren't many places"

She was answered by a few mumbles and groans from her blonde friend who looked as though she had barely managed to dress herself correctly.

"There's a seat next to Professor Flitwick..."

This caused Izzy to immediately perk up and beam towards her morning victim. Flitwick let out a few pathetic cries as Izzy flounced her way to her seat for breakfast. Snape glared at the remaining brat who smiled back at him. She moved towards the vacant seat, but was stopped short by a cough from McGonagall.

"Excuse me, Professor Vertigo. I wondered if you would not mind sitting next to me; I have a few questions for you."

Snape felt a wave of relief as Professor Sinistra moved herself to sit to his right. However, this was quickly dissipated as he looked at Vertigo's face; he expected sadness, disappointment or perhaps even anger but he saw what could only be described as excitement. The deep feeling of dread quickly returned as she found her seat and gave him a small wave. He quickly ignored her and looked towards the ceiling as the morning post owls began to swoop in. His regular Daily Prophet owl dropped the paper in front of him and he reached forward to observe the news. However, he felt another small gust of air as another bird landed in front of him. A multi-coloured bird. This had already caught the attention of the students as, like many, they had never seen a multi-coloured toucan before. Twinky dropped an envelope in front of Severus and let out his bird version of laughter. Snape glared at the retreating bird as it flew out of the window. He then turned his attention to the letter. He blinked. Then blinked again and groaned. He recognised immediately what it was and he guessed most of the Hall did as they began whispering excitedly. Snape stood up quickly, letter still in hand, desperate to run into the antechamber behind the staff table; however it was too late. The letter had already curled itself up into a megaphone.

"DEAREST PROFESSOR SEV-IKINS,

PRETTY PLEASE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE JUST SMIIIIILE! WE KNOW YOU CRY ALONE EVERY NIGHT SO WE VOW FROM THIS DAY TO INCLUDE YOU IN HUGGLE TIME!

ALL OUR LOVE, HEARTSIES AND KISSIES FROM KATE AND IZZY

P.S Twinky and Pinky say hi."

Snape stood wide-eyed in horror at the now shredded howler on the table. It was pure silence but soon after the hall erupted with laughter. He quickly snapped his head to glare at Vertigo to see both Dumbledore and the rest of the staff attempting to choke down their laughter. Mane caught his eye first with her high-pitched cackles and Snape glowered at Kate. She grinned up at him before convulsing into a fit of laughter.

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**Woo, that was fun to write! I can't believe people actually read my story, let alone like it! Thank you so much and a big shout out to Jenea Capp for my first review! *Squeeeee!***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Severus Snape or anything from the Harry Potter world. If I did, well, you don't want to know. Although, the OCs are totally OWNED! :D**


	3. A Very Merry Christmas

**Actual plot development! :O**

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The morning sun hazily rose into the sun streaming its light through a tower window; its rays were magnified by the pure whiteness of snow that had only settled the night before.

A body underneath a mass of bedding let out a small groan of protest and shifted. Soon after, deep steady breaths came from both the bedding and a covered bird cage in the corner. This peaceful scene however was unfortunately broken.

"OMGEEEEE! Kate! SNOOOOW!"

The bedroom door slammed on its hinges and the bird cage let out a mighty squawk of fright. The bedding however, remained perfectly still. Until the source of the squeals of delight threw itself on the bed.

"Come on, Kate! Snow! We can totally have the bestest snowball fight!"

When Izzy Mane received no reply, she jumped repeatedly up and down on the mattress desperately attempting to wake the sleeping Kate. Her efforts were quickly rewarded, as no one could sleep with a bouncy blonde crushing every limb.

"Izzy, it's like, way too early..."

However, Kate was soon fully awake due to the bird cage's continual squawks of distress. She prised herself from her pillow, narrowly avoiding the still bouncing blonde and made her way to cage, revealing a multi-coloured toucan.

"Izzy, you know how he gets all hissy-fitty if he's woken up like that"

However, this fell on deaf ears as Izzy was still jumping up and down squealing 'Snow!'. Kate un-latched the bird cage and was promptly forced back as the toucan launched itself out of the cage, cuffing Izzy around the head with its wing and flying out of the window. Kate sighed, and began rifling in a near drawer and producing a large bag of hundreds and thousands and held it up in the air. The creaking of the bed immediately stopped and Kate turned around to see Izzy beaming at her.

"Right. Now that I have your attention; we shall get dressed, leave Twinky his breakfast, have a quick breakfast ourselves and then SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Earning an excited squeal, Kate handed over the hundreds and thousands.

"Izzy, how in Merlin's undies are you awake?"

"Hm? Oh! I heard this major 'broosh!' noise and I totally looked outside to see a mountain of snow! And then no way could I go back to sleep, so I had to get ready and I totally wanted to wake you, but I remembered what you did back in Corfu to Freddie, so I waited!"

Caught between being amazed by Izzy's patience and her memory, Kate waved her wand over herself and was instantly dressed and ready for a snowball fight, whilst Izzy bounced her way to a small box of fruit and set it aside for Twinky's breakfast. Kate smiled and headed for the door, when she stopped and saw a small red and green envelope at her feet. She bent down, observed it and ripped it open. Izzy saw what her friend was holding and squealed with absolute delight.

"Eeeee! You've been invited too!"

"Izzy, it's the _staff _Christmas party, of course we'd both be invited!"

She threw the invitation onto her bed after giving it a quick once over and the pair headed out of the door.

"Sooooo?" Izzy questioned.

"So, what?"

"'So what' what?"

"'So what, what' what?"

"'So what, what, what' what?"

"Wait, what?"

Izzy sighed dramatically.

"Soooo?"

"So what?"

"'So what-"

But the blonde was quickly interrupted.

"So WHAT? What? What!? WHAAAAAT!?"

"Oh! Who you gonna take with you!"

Kate slapped herself in the forehead.

"Like date? I dunno, the one guy I really want to ask me..." The pair stopped in their tracks. A dark billowed figure had walked his way towards them, his attention focused on the piece of parchment he was holding.

"Sev...!" Kate began, but at the sound of her voice, his eyes snapped up from the document to her and he promptly turned on his heels and retreated back the way he had just come. The two stood there in slight surprise.

"Well, that was like totally rude!" Izzy huffed.

"Can you really blame the guy?" Kate sighed "I mean, we have been laying it on him pretty thick for months."

Her mind went back to the past three months of events: the constant present giving, inclusion in 'Huggle Time', regular visits from both Pinky and Twinky, transfiguring all his robes to pink and fluffy until he got wise of how to reverse it, but that was a good few weeks... Her personal replay of their pranks was cut short by Izzy.

"Do you think he might get it? That you totally like TOTALLY dig him?"

"Nah, you know how guys are clueless."

"But at least you have someone you want to take! I don't know ANYONE!"

"But he'll never take me!"

They looked at each other for the briefest of moments before flinging themselves into a hug and screaming in unison:

"WE'RE ALONE AND UN-LOVED!"

This earned many confused looks from passing students hoping for an early breakfast and down the hall Snape had quickened his pace to a slight run. They sobbed for a good five minutes before Kate broke quickly away, Izzy's arms still hanging around her neck and sobbing.

"Wait! I have a plan! To the hideout!"

She wrestled the sobbing Izzy off her and grabbed a random limb and dragged her back to the hideout.

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One hour later, Kate and Izzy were sitting in Kate's walk-in wardrobe with a small open pink book between them; breakfast and the snowball fight quite forgotten. Twinky watched over the pair sitting on the dressing table, the morning's rude awakening also forgotten.

"How about Greg Charmers? He's meant to be a mighty fine dancer."

"But he's totally like a short-arse! I'd tower over him!"

At this, Twinky squawked in agreement. Kate attempted once more to find her a date in her many contacts and tried to work out how Izzy's 5ft 1in could clarify anyone a 'short-arse'.

"Ok, then how about Justin Hansen? Single, tall and blonde?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing, all around good guy. Average dancer, hot, doesn't play from home and is said to be pretty good in the sack."

They both looked over at Twinky who twittered.

"Sold to the lady in pink!"

Izzy fell back giggling madly. Kate smiled at her friend's happiness and began searching once more; but the book was quickly snatched away.

"I'll look for you! It's only fair! Hmmm... How about Colin Geld? Hot, loaded and rumoured to have a huge..."

"No, thank you. Major ego problem."

"Then... Oh, oh OOOH! Gabriel Broade! He's cute and he just got promoted to England's Quidditch Captain!"

"Oh, ok then."

"I mean, he's no Sevvy, but you'll just have to make do." She said producing some parchment for their invitations. "But if you play your cards right, Sevvy might go all Tarzan and rush in to save his princess from another male!"

Kate gave her a droll look.

'Severus Snape rushing to my rescue in a loincloth, beating his chest at an intruding male.' The thought cheered her up immensely.

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A week later, Kate stood in front of her mirror admiring her new party dress. It was a gold sequin number, exceptionally short, barely covering her butt and hiding her cleavage. She slipped on her black high-heels and waved her wand over her head; arranging her hair and applying her make-up. She rotated viewing herself from many angles before deciding that, yes, she looked mighty fine. She stopped at the knock at the door. Opening it, revealed Gabriel Broade, who looked amazing in his matching suit. He smiled, complimented her, and offered his arm. They began walking down to the party, when he admired her shoes.

"Wow, major points for this fella!" She thought, but knew it wouldn't get him far since he was not exactly dark, benevolent or moody. She smiled at him and returned him a compliment, at which he stopped.

"We're under mistletoe."

She looked up to come to conclusion that he was indeed correct and was about to highlight that they hadn't even reached the party yet, when his face attached itself to hers. She recoiled back, but this didn't save her and he continued to smother her for a while longer before releasing her. Kate felt dazed and stumbled wide-eyed.

"I know, that happens to a lot of girls. Don't fret your pretty head, be a good girl and who knows, I might do it again."

'Oh god' she thought 'I with this washing-machine, slobbering, lunatic!'

He led her towards the party once more, and her head only filled with the thoughts of removing this moron from her hip.

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The party was in full swing, and Izzy was standing behind the curtain awaiting Justin to return with drinks. She gazed out the window, and her mind wondered to her best friend, she would really have to thank her later for setting her up with Justin.

'Tomorrow.' She thought 'Justin's totally sweet; we might just have a sleep-over...' Her thoughts we cut short by a staggering figure bumping into her. The golden figure cowered into the corner and she immediately recognised it as Kate.

"What are you doing here?" Kate questioned

"'What am I doing here' what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what am I... Oh, never mind, I don't have time!"

"Time, what do you like mean?"

"That lunatic! Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to have more of someone else's saliva in your mouth than your own?!"

"Huh?"

"Oh god here he comes! Cover me!" With that she dived behind the curtain. It was then Gabriel's turn to pop up behind the curtain.

"Oh, hello Izzy, you haven't by any chance seen that foxy babe around here have you? We're playing... kiss chase."

Izzy was about to delay him when he spotted her, "Ah, there she is! Thanks..." and he quickly moved behind the curtain again to give chase.

Kate rotated her head to see the crazy man had spotted her and she began to move hurriedly to the other side of the room. Or she would have, if she hadn't run into a large object. A large black object. A large, black, alone object. Snape rotated to see the exact person he had wanted to avoid all evening. He had only been convinced to show by McGonagall assuring him Kate would be occupied with her date. To him, she didn't look particularly occupied.

"Babe, wait up! All I want to do is..."

"Severus just asked me to dance! I'd hate to disappoint him, you know, colleague to colleague...?" She prayed it would work, even though Gabriel had seen Severus lips hadn't moved in the slightest to ask her anything, she just prayed and began dragging Severus towards the dance floor.

"Oh ok, my cheeky little fox! Don't you think you've escaped me yet!"

She thanked whatever gods where out there, believing that he probably received too many bludgers to the head. She led a stunned Severus to the dance floor, were he eventually found his voice.

"Vertigo, what on earth gave you the right..."

But he was quickly silenced by the curvy feminine body pressed hard against him. The music stopped briefly before returning to a slow romantic song. Kate faltered slightly, but held on tight to Severus, and he could think of nothing else but holding her also. They moved slowly around the dance floor and Kate was pleasantly surprised at Severus dancing ability. She looked up into his eyes to thank him for rescuing her (minus the loincloth) to see he was staring down at her. She looked hard into his eyes and she swore he had moved forward towards her, but then she could of too. The music faded from her mind and all she could think of was how close Severus was; their lips were millimetres apart...

"Thanks for warming her up, Prof! But I'll take it from here; this song might break your hip ya'know?"

All respect for his life went flying out of the window at that moment, and Kate seriously contemplated throwing Gabriel out with it. Severus looked at him as if he had the same thought procession, but slowly turned to Kate with a sly smirk on his face. Kate grabbed a strong hold of Severus's robes and silently pleaded and begged with him.

"Of course, Broade. She is, after all, your companion for the evening." And he let go of Kate and felt a small justice had been achieved. Kate shot daggers at him, as he walked away from them.

"Now, babe, to show you real dancing!"

Kate didn't even have a chance. She was flung around the dance floor and yank her back to him. Severus sat observing the two sipping his champagne and chuckling every time Kate was flung in a new direction. She then when given a tiny chance shot him a look of pure pleading, but Severus merely raised his glass to her with a smirk of triumph. She would have given him the filthiest look but was whirled around once more, and dipped.

"You liked that huh?" Gabriel said slightly breathless "Now to make you completely breathless!"

And he claimed her lips and Kate attempted to struggle against him but due to her dipped position she could move very little. Severus suddenly felt a pang of something dark. The thought that passed through his mind involved the very swift demise of a certain Quidditch Captain. But Vertigo seemed to be enjoying this new 'romantic' side to him; she was hardly putting up a fight.

'Fine' he thought 'if she wants to-' He stopped. 'What was that?! What am I thinking?! How could I be jealous of that idiot? The only reason Vertigo is interested in me, is because she is an evil torturing brat!' Snape snorted, firmly set his champagne glass down and quickly made his escape to the exit.

Kate however, was not having such an easy time escaping. They were drawing quite a bit of attention and cheering. Kate still squirmed, attempting to break free, when finally her arm broke loose. She reached down to her shoe and grabbed one in her free hand and prompting began beating Gabriel repeatedly around the head with it. He dropped her after the third smack.

"Babe, what are you-"

"For the love of everything magical in this world, let a girl BREATHE!"

The room went silent, and she hoped to make a dramatic exit when she stumbled due to only having one high-heel on. She grumbled and made her 'Mad-Eye Moody style' exit.

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Outside, it was lightly snowing adding to the already thick layer of snow that covered that Hogwarts grounds. Severus was making his slow way back to his room.

'She made a complete fool of you again! Dancing so close and... Ah! That _child _has everyone thinking what a complete push-over you have become! A fool! An old, stupid...'

However, his mental berating was cut short by another much more loud and verbal rant.

"...He was totally killing me with his face! I should've hit him with the heel! That wasn't snogging that, by all great definitions, was face-rape!"

She continued to rant as she walked into the courtyard, brandishing two shoes in her hands. Severus quickly hid himself in the undercover walkway and watched her rant. Kate then stopped, stared hard and the snow-covered ground and then up at the sky and screamed:

"IT'S C-C-COLD!"

She ran bare-foot for cover directly at Severus. He contemplated running, but he was too late she had spotted him.

"Severus? What are you doing out here?"

"I was about to ask you the same question, Miss Vertigo. I would have expected you to be quite preoccupied with Mr Broade. He appears to have an effective method to silencing you; it is probably the reason he can stand your presence. It is such a shame we all cannot employ such a method."

She looked furious and opened her mouth to reply, when she sneezed loudly. She again attempted to give her response but it was so distorted by her teeth chattering he couldn't understand a word.

"Yes. Well, Miss Vertigo, maybe now you will take note of correct seasonal clothing." He looked over her small dress and smirked.

"I di-did-didn't ha-ha-haaa-have t-t-time to g-et clo-o-ak... Dr-dra-ama-tic ex-it..."

He chuckled at her, which earned him the swat of her hair as she quickly turned to leave.

"Here."

She turned to see he was holding out his cloak to her. Instead of accepting it, she just stood there with a surprised look on her face. Severus quickly began feeling like a complete idiot again standing there with his cloak held out whilst he was getting increasingly colder.

"Fine... I'll leave you here..." He moved to go past her, but she caught hold of his arm.

"No. Th-thank you..." If he hadn't seen her lips move he would have guessed her voice would have been the wind. He stood looking at her as she took his cloak and put it on. It pooled around her feet, and she wrapped it around herself concealing her entire body except her head. He thought she looked adorable wearing his clothing, but quickly stopped himself and began to move away from her.

"Severus?" He turned "You could escort me back to my room?" He raised an eye-brow and began to move from her again. "No, I mean, then you could have your cloak back straight away, and if I gave it to you tomorrow, Izzy would be there." Severus returned to her; she had a point. Alone, he might just survive, but together... He held out his arm to her. She smiled, then accepted and they made their way back to her rooms. They made it to the moving staircases when Severus chanced a look at her; he could hardly believe she had been silent all this time. She then looked up at him as they waited for the stairs to rotate, and smiled. He frowned and snapped his eyes to the stairs and briskly stepped onto them. They soon found their way to her room and she whispered 'Candy floss' and the door opened. She stepped inside, removed his cloak and handed it to him.

"Thank you so much Severus for escorting me back. It really was totally gentlemanly of you." Severus focused on her lips as the moved and found that he had stopped listening as he watched them.

'You could kiss her, you know' A voice in his head began, 'You could get away with it, she's just there.'

So he did. His lips captured hers very briefly and realised she didn't return it. He stepped back, mortified. Her face was the picture of surprise and she didn't say anything, but her lips moved in speechlessness.

He tried staggering back to leave but found his feet didn't have the courage to move. 'She's been playing with you and this proves it! She never wanted you, how could a girl like her want an old wretch like you? She just wanted to make you out as a fool and she's done it; typical Gryffindor-'

Then she rose up on the balls of her feet and met his lips with her own. Severus would have been shocked or confused had he been able to think at that moment. He would have asked himself why in the world she would _want_ to kiss him, why she would be remotely interested in him. Thusly, it was very fortunate that he couldn't think far past the wonderfully warm woman pressed against him, assaulting his mouth with a passion he didn't know could exist. All he could think to do was lock his arms around her waist and kiss her back

"If I'm a good girl," She said licking her now bruised lips "Will you do that again?"

He snorted and seized her again, thus effectively shutting her up. She smirked into his lips and tugged at his arm, pulling him into her room. As the staggered lips still entwined, he kicked the door shut with his foot as she led him across the room; as they did so, they removed each other's clothing at a swift pace. They reached her bed, and she continued to rove her hands over his body, driving him and herself mad.

Moments later, he could no longer stand it, and he pushed her down onto the bed, her eyes laughing up at him. His hands roamed the curves of her body, and he felt a wave of satisfaction ripple through him at the agonized, delighted gasp that came from her throat as he gently parted her legs and positioned himself in-between them.

Her mouth was pressed against his ear throughout it, an attempt to muffle her cries; but her sweet, low voice whispering, whimpering, gasping against the sensitive, pointed shell that graced the side of his head nearly drove him insane, and at one point he nearly cried out as her fingernails raked down his back.

And in a final, shattering moment, he exhaled her name and lost himself in her body, his arms encircling her, pulling her against him with all of his strength, his thoughts silenced by the warm, clenching heat that seared his entire being.

They lay for quite some time; silent, the only sound their steady breathing, his body covering hers. Then, her trembling fingers gently pushed strands of his black hair away from his face, and she kissed him gently. He moved from on top of her onto his back and pulled her into his arms. As sleep began to claim both of them, he vowed to never _ever_ forget this one best Christmas, even if it was from a Gryffindor.

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**Long chapter is long! That took a rather long time to write AND first sex-scene! :O Please leave reviews, and I hoped you enjoyed it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Severus Snape or anything from the Harry Potter world. If I did, well, you don't want to know. Although, the OCs are totally OWNED! :D**


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